Y&T...young and tough, or old and seriously annoying?

Last night we ventured out in our shit hole town, (or towns, or whatever you want to call this place) to see Y&T. Our last venture out around here was to see the Bullet Boys. If I have a review somewhere, I'll dig it up and post it. All you need to know is that 8 people saw the Bullet Boys, most of which were weird creepy dudes in blazers.

I feel a really big drive to go out and support any somewhat 80s metal band that comes to play around here, because I know how much this area sucks, and how few shows we get. So, I'm not really sure why I expect MORE from people, and always leave disappointed.

A big part of the show to me is the crowd. I enjoy people watching and the experience of rocking out with anywhere from 5 to 50,000 people to music you all love is pretty awesome. Before I go on my tirade, let me say that Y&T did not suck totally and that I'm really not a huge Y&T fan...just so ya know.

It's just that they have like 20 billion years of music, and they play a lot of it. I mean, when you go see the Crue, you don't expect them to play something from Generation Swine. You want to hear stuff from Too Fast for Love and Shout at the Devil, and then not remember how you got home and pass out in a pile of your own vomit.

Unfortunately, Y&T plays to all fans, and that left old Jugs sitting on a bar stool rather bored by the end of the night.

I might have been a bit more amped if it wasn't for the fans...

They broke all my cardinal rules of going to rock shows: band tshirts of the same god damn band, fat obnoxious douches bullying their way up front, and those men who dragged their wives along in their hideous mom jeans. 

Here were some highlights from people watching that I'd like to discuss.

1. Since when is it OK to make your 13 year old son extremely fat, let him grow out his hair (because you never could) but so that it's a shaggy-emo-mess, and then stick some kind of sassy fedora with skulls on his head? And then you drag him to a Y&T show? COME ON!!!!! First of all, there were MULTIPLE versions of this last night, not just one, which was shocking. Make your god damn kid go outside and get some exercise and stop feeding him chicken nuggets!! I'm sure he's going to be super cool when at 25 he has a heart condition and sweats more than a pig stuck in hot mud!! I'm not sure what is going on these days, but attention 13 year old girls....fat kids with fedoras are not hot! Trust me, no one likes some heavy breathing fat kid trying to get in your pants. I went on that date later in life, and it was NOT pretty. (I didn't date a 13 year old later in life, just so we're clear here...just pointing out that I've seen what happens 10 years down the road). Seriously, your kid looks like a total twat.

2. You aren't a rock fan. But your husband is. He says "honey, let's go see Y&T tonight." Here's a clue: stay the fuck at home. No one wants to see you wearing his jacket standing lamely beside him in your kitten heels and gold jewelry. You look MISERABLE. Of course, i looked miserable too, but we're not judging me right now! OR, the second of these two lovely choices, your husband is a fat drunk, and you won't stand up to him. So when you tell him to stop drinking, he tells you to fuck off, and you end up standing in the back...but not before you ruin everyone's night with your hunched shoulders and your sad eyes. You married him! Your choice! Kick him in the fucking nuts already!!! My old man pulls this shit sometimes, but I have learned how to deal with it in less than 3 years. You two look like you've been married for at least 15, and you're still tolerating that? Come on! 

3. You are a HUGE Y&T Fan. You're in the fan club. You wore their shirt to the show. You might have glasses, or wear giant sneakers, or just look like a douche. Heads up, i think you might be gay. Men in fan clubs...it's not cool. 

4. The rock hands. The bane of my existence. I'm ALL for some fist pumping, hand clapping, throwing up the devil horns when the music is just that kick ass. However, there is a difference between the devil horns, and the "I love you" hand sign. Not the same thing. So hey dude, out there in the crowd, thinking you are SOOO rockin out right now. You're not. You just told some 60 year old in spandex that you love him. Way to go. You're SUCH a bad ass. 

I've seen these types in other areas, don't get me wrong, it's not just here. But there is something about this area that just brings out the uncool assholes. I've never been shoved around, or bumped into, or stared down as much as I have last night. And I've been to probably hundreds of crowded, drunken, insane shows. I've been kicked in the face, I've had chicks try to start fights, you name it...I've seen it. But last night was special. It was this kind of middle-aged misery that you just can't find anywhere else. So thanks Y&T. The whole night was like a Spinal tap parody, and not in that train-wreck good time that I enjoy.