Here we go!!!

Well, if it isn't little old me trying to start a blog for the 50 billionth time. Seriously. I have a lot to say, but when it comes to writing a blog, I go mysteriously blank or I end up writing absolute drivel. Shit, maybe you will think it's drivel, but you can take that opinion and shove it!!

I've had a blog over on my myspace (or gayspace as I like to call it) for a while now, and a few kind souls have commented that the like reading my show reviews. I figure I'll take a few of them, edit them a teeny bit, and post them over here in the next day or so.

In the meantime, let me ramble on about myself so you can get a good idea of who I am (or not).

I'm 25. I plan on being 25 for at least the next 10 birthdays, because I can't handle getting old. Getting old, that's just not cool. Now, I love 80s metal. I've loved 80s metal since I was 3 or 4. Which means that I was a fan, well, back in the 80s. Here's my issue though, I HATE people my age liking 80s metal. Now, it's ok to like a song or two, but chances are, you aren't a fucking diehard Whitesnake fan. The thing that kills me about people in my age group is that they say something like "oh yeah, I like Poison" and then turn around and buy some shitty emo band cd. Seriously, go fuck yourselves. Sure, that's hypocritical and weird of me to say I'm the only 25 year old allowed to like heavy metal...it's just most of the time, kids my age bug the shit out of me. 

Secondly, I'm not a music geek. I don't care what kind of amp your fancy schmancy guitar is plugged into...i just want to ROCK! I don't want to dissect Dokken's third album in detail with you. I want to drink a fifth of vodka, and rock out to Dokken. Do you get it yet?

Rock n roll isn't just something to listen to for me, it's a way of life. I have a boring job. I love my job, but it's boring. It kills me putting on suits and business casual clothes to go to work each day. That's not fucking rock n roll. Sometimes I look down at myself while I'm driving to work, and I just want to cry. Please get me a tissue. Thanks.

I have a number of rules that should be followed at all rock shows. They'll be brought up in forthcoming blogs, but here is a sampling:

1. Cardinal Rule number 1...if you go and see a band play, don't fucking wear that band's shirt to the show. SERIOUSLY! LAME!!!!

2. Hot chicks belong up front. No one became a rockstar so they could serenade their famous power ballad to the fat balding dude who has placed himself front and center. Plus, like seriously fat balding dudes, the chick is bound to be shorter than you, let her stand in front, and maybe you can brush up against her while listening to that power ballad. And if you don't want that, you're fucking gay.

3. It's fine to be drunk and rocking out, but don't be a douche. Don't pee in a girl's purse, don't vomit on them, and don't violently move them in some fashion because you can't control yourself. 

I know, rock n roll isn't about rules, but it's also not about being a big old douche. 

What else do i have to say about me? 

I always wanted to be Jessica Hahn in Sam Kinison's Wild Thing video. That, or Kelly Bundy. I would have wanted to be Tawny Kitean, but i think Jaguars are shit cars. 

That's about it I guess. Here we go again.....